


TotCH Cut Scene 01

by actualsunflower



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, M/M, rape mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 06:46:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20792375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actualsunflower/pseuds/actualsunflower
Summary: Jay confesses something painful about his past to his husband after reliving some bad repressed memories. cut scene from my story, tales of the commonwealth hero (wip)





	TotCH Cut Scene 01

**Author's Note:**

> helloooo, this scene was cut from my original story due to it being.... a little too dark for the rest of it. while i still consider this canon, it wont feature in the finished version. this scene, along with a collection of others cut from the story, will be posted separately for yall to read so you dont have to actually miss out on anything i decide is worthy of the ban hammer. and if it seems short and kinda unfinished, thats cause it is, it was cut so i stopped working on it. enjoy it anyway  
-cut scenes are not beta read and i am dyslexic so. please dont kill me over errors. i try very hard to find them all before posting.-
> 
> also, just another warning, rape is heavily mentioned. absolutely no graphic depictions, but it's discussed. if you're uncomfortable with that topic, please don't read this.
> 
> anyway i hope you enjoy this short piece, i appreciate feedback and i hope to see you when the first chapter is finished ♥

“I’ll go check on her tomorrow morning, if you’d like.” Piper offered.  
“Sure, we’ll go meet up with you around say, noon, should we be done here by then. Jay?” As Nick turned toward his husband, he noticed how stressed he seemed.  
Fists clenched, he stared absently at the desk, brows furrowed as if he was lost deep in thought. Nick felt a flicker of worry as Jay squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. Before he could speak, Jay stood from his chair, stumbling a little as he tried to regain his balance on his prosthesis. Piper looked over in equal confusion.  
“Jay? Is everything alright?” Nick slowly began to stand as well, but stopped as Jay waved his hand.  
“Oh, fine, I’m just gonna step outside for a few minutes okay? Just fill me in on what’s goin’ on later.” Avoiding eye contact, his voice unusually quiet, Jay turned and walked down the hall.  
Nick watched in concern, but didn’t try to follow. The room stayed silent as they heard the upstairs door open, and shut just after.  
“Oookay…” Piper cleared her throat. “What’s up with him?”  
“I’m not sure. I think I should go talk to him.”  
“It doesn’t seem like he wants the company.” The reporter leaned back in her chair.  
Ellie stayed quiet, though she looked as concerned as Nick. Anxiety started pricking at his palm, something was wrong and he could feel it.  
“Ellie, why don’t you two go over the notes one more time, see if we missed something. I’ll be back in a few.” The old synth stood as he spoke, taking a moment to straighten out his coat.  
“Right.” She agreed, nodding in understanding.  
Without another word, Nick turned and headed toward the door upstairs that led to the roof. As he reached the door, he stopped for a second. Though he didn’t need to breathe, he took in a slow, calming breath, preparing himself. He let it out through his nose and opened the door. He stepped quietly through the doorway, and shut it behind him.  
Looking across the moonlit roof, he spotted Jay sitting at the edge of the roof, his hands in his lap. Clouds drifted slowly across the black sky, casting shadows across the brightly lit city on occasion. Even despite the clouds, his husband’s white hair still shimmered in the dark.  
“Jay…?” Nick called to his lover.  
Jay didn’t move, he didn’t even raise his head. His feelings of anxiety worsened, and he pulled at the sleeve of his coat. He walked toward the end of the roof and slowly lowered himself to sit beside his husband. Adjusting his position, Nick pulled his coat out from underneath himself, and looked out over the city.  
There wasn’t much he could think of to say. He was worried, but he knew well enough already that if Jay wanted to discuss it, he would’ve already. Beside him, Jay shifted, putting his hands down on the brittle metal. He raised his head, looking out over the city, despite Nick knowing he couldn't actually see that far. Nick felt sadness in his chest at the sight of his distraught expression.  
“So… Are we stayin’ here tonight after all?” Jay’s voice was quiet, his words drawn out.  
“Yeah, I think we should. You need some rest before we travel back to Far Harbor tomorrow afternoon.” Nick responded cautiously.  
Jay was quiet once more. Nick wondered if he was trying to think of what to say. He looked toward Jay. Moonlight shone across his long, curly hair, and his bright blue eyes seemed to glow. A small smile tugged at his lips. He loved his husband so, and was always left speechless at his lover’s beauty.  
Reaching out, Nick gently stroked the other’s cheek with his thumb. He traced the edge of the white mark that stretched under his eye with the tip of his finger. The white patch covered most of his face, aside from the right side of his forehead and a circular patch around his mouth and nose. Nick let his hand fall, placing it over Jay’s left hand.  
“Flower…” Nick rubbed the back of Jay’s patchy, white hand with his thumb.  
“I'm sorry I just left like that. I just…” Jay drew in a sharp breath, as if rethinking speaking.  
“You’re alright, flower. We were just about finished anyway.” He gave a smile, hoping to help calm him.  
“I was just. Nervous I guess.” He shrugged.  
“Usual nervous? Or is there…” Nick stopped, he didn't want to make Jay feel pressured, he was already obviously uncomfortable.  
“I, uhm.” Jay stopped again, sitting up a little straighter.  
He gently squeezed Jay’s hand with his own.  
“Well… This case, what happened, I. It just brought back some bad memories. I thought I was over it, ya know? But I guess I just. Repressed the memories an’ pretended I was over it.” Jay turned away as he spoke.  
He hesitated with each word, his brow creased in anguish. Nick didn't speak, he wasn't entirely sure what Jay was referring to, but was concerned nonetheless.  
“It doesn't matter though, I overreacted an’ I feel real stupid now. What happened was a really long time ago, even before the war.” The white-haired man gave a laugh, but Nick saw through it.  
“You didn't overreact. If you were really that uncomfortable, you did the right thing by excusing yourself.” Nick reassured him.  
“You think so? I dunno… I just-what happened I. Nick, if I tell you this, you have to promise me you won't tell anyone. I haven't told many people. I trust you, I'm just. Scared..?” He sat rigidly, his free hand clenched in a tight fist.  
“You know I'd never betray your trust.” Valentine spoke softly.  
“I know, I know…” Jay chuckled nervously, though he continued avoiding eye contact.  
He sat quietly, staring out across the rooftops. Nick wondered if he was considering changing his mind again.  
“I never told my mothers either. First person I told was an old friend. He… Told me I was just tryin’ to make him jealous. We stopped bein’ friends shortly after that. The other one, some guy I had a thing with, I regret that ‘relationship’, he tried forcin’ me to do somethin’ I wasn't comfortable with an’ I confessed to him why I couldn't. He slapped me, like actually hit me an’ said I lied to him about bein’ gay. He said I should've just enjoyed it, an’ that I was lyin’ ‘cause ‘women can't do that’.”  
Nick's eyes widened. Though he wasn't sure what Jay was going to confess to him, he certainly wasn't prepared to hear that. He leaned over, putting his arm as far around Jay’s shoulders as he could reach.  
“I had no idea, Jay I'm so sorry.” Nick comforted, slowly rubbing his back as he continued.  
“You-you don't think I should've just forgotten about it or just enjoyed it?” Jay seemed genuinely surprised, his cloudy blue eyes were wide, and full of sadness.  
“No Jay, of course not. What happened to you was wrong, and how you were treated after was unfair. I can't imagine how you must’ve felt. You're incredibly strong for doing all you've done while carrying that weight.”  
“I… I'm really not that strong, I just, I thought it was over it but I guess I'm not, huh? Not if I'm still sittin’ here wastin’ your time cryin’ about it.”  
“You are not wasting my time. I came out here because I care about how you feel, I was worried and wanted to come check on you. I wanted to come spend my time with you.”  
“Yeah, thanks Nick…” Jay looked down to his lap and sighed before he continued.  
“You know I just… I still think it's my own fault, ya know? I never went to any sort of party like that before, I don't know what I was thinkin’. Nate was right, I should've just stayed home with him. If I had I wouldn't've gotten drunk. I did a lot of stuff I regret that night, not just lettin’ her do that to me. But I don't think I could've ‘just enjoyed it’ even if I wasn’t gay.”  
“You didn't let her do anything. There was no way you could've known that would happen.”  
“I could've just stayed home like Nate said.”  
“Jay, you couldn't have known. You didn't deserve that just because you didn't stay home."  
“He was so angry though, it always felt like maybe… I was being punished for somethin’, I guess.”  
It was Nick’s turn to sit quietly. Trying to argue with Jay about what was and wasn’t his fault was a difficult task, even if it was obvious he had done nothing wrong.  
“Did Nate know?” Valentine eventually asked, though hesitantly.  
“...No. We weren't together yet, but I think he suspected somethin’ happened, an’ he seemed jealous. I tried tellin’ him but I was scared he'd react like the first guy. Nate was bisexual, and that girl, well… A lot of guys were interested in her. I guess she was upset I wasn't interested. I'm not sure why else she’d do what she did if she wasn't.”  
“Don't think about why, you won't find an answer you'll like.”  
“Yea, I guess so. You're smart, no wonder people can't hurt you.”  
Jay looked small, his head hanging, his arms against his sides. The sight hurt.  
“People can hurt me, Jay. I just try hard not to let people know, but it can be good to confess when you’re hurt. It gives you a chance to let things go and heal. It seems to me like you've been holding onto this for too long. I hope you know I really admire your courage, your ability to tell me this.”  
Jay turned to him. Tears brimmed in his eyes, though he was trying hard not to cry. Nick reached out with his other arm and pulled his husband into a warm embrace. Half expecting Jay not to move, he was surprised as he lunged into his arms. His much larger arms wrapped tightly around his midsection. Nick was pulled against his body, and he felt Jay bury his face into the crook of his neck.  
Choosing not to say anything, he rested his chin on Jay’s shoulder. Rubbing small circles along his husband’s back, his glowing golden eyes closed and he listened to the other's shaky breathing.  
“Thank you, Nicky…” Jay’s voice was muffled by the collar of Nick's coat.  
“There's no need to thank me. I'm here for you, always. I love you, flower.” Nick ended his sentence with a kiss to his shoulder.  
“I really, really love you too.” Jay pulled him closer and squeezed tighter.


End file.
